So, my friend was organising her child's birthday party the other day, well to be fair it was a joint birthday party for two of her kids, so they organised a food truck.
And do you know what she said to me: 'Kerryn, that's me practicing self-care'.
She's spot on.
We often think of self-care as relaxing massages or a facial. Maybe even an epsom salt bath.
But still, like a mad woman, you still run all errands, over promise and undercut yourselves.
It's ticking a box that there will be enough food for everyone, it will be good food, everyone will love it. But there's no shopping, food prep, passing food around, catering to dietary needs or packing up.
Gosh, I think the next party we have, even if only 10 people are coming, I’ll get a bloody food truck. Sounds like heaven. But is it?
We'd be happy just going to the toilet solo or actually sitting and having breakfast in peace. A kid-free dinner or dare I say it.. a sleep in.
These are all things that 'pre-children' we took for granted and now we realise that they were the precious moments. The silent, no-time-pressure-moments.
So, I'm here to tell you Mama, that if you need to get someone else to do the work, then make that happen. Often, it's at a cost, but it doesn't always have to be a financial burden.
When people ask if they can help, actually say yes. And say yes the first time they ask.
We're all too over polite.
POTENTIAL HELPER: 'I can help you if you need it?'
YOU: 'Oh no, I'm okay, thanks though'.
POTENTIAL HELPER: 'Are you sure?'
YOU: 'Yes, no really, I'm fine.'
POTENTIAL HELPER: 'let me know if you need help.'
YOU: 'Sure will, thanks'.
And then off you go, get yourself all stressed and overwhelmed with everything to the point you give up and just sit on your phone and doom scroll for your kid's entire nap.
And then, you sit there alone and think 'I wish I had help'.
I know I'm right. Because I'm a mother too, and I used to be one of those over polite people too.
Now, if someone offers help and I actually need it, it only takes two goes of them asking for me to say yes, not three times.
And sometimes I even say yes straight away.
And sometimes, get this, I even ask for help.
Getting the help you need so that you can be a calmer, more present mama, wife, friend, daughter or sister.
So that you're not feeling the build-up of overwhelm.
So that you can enjoy this time of young kids with even more energy.
Because, you deserve it.
So go get a food truck if you need one. Say yes to help. Whatever you need to do to take the load off your shoulders.
It's all in the name of self-care Mama, and trust me, you need it.